He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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