That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
