I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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