the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
