She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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