You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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