I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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