you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
