What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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