she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
