when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
