I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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