Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
