Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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