How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
