My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
