Screwed.edu
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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