how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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