There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My dick has a subreddit
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
