I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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