is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
