I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
