Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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