Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
there is glitter all over my balls
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
