im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
