We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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