The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize