how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
