I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
