Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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