Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
