____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
