definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
