Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I've blown a few things in my day
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
where are my eyebrows?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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