call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
