I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You're a disaster
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