so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize