Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
