i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
