New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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