YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
