you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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