all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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