Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
