Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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