the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
