You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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