Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
