Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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