If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She told me I should be a condom model.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
