New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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