i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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