I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
