90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
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