i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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