We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
