he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
