Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
