you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
