Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
